"I think about life, and I think about death. And neither of them particularly appeal to me."

"Science when well-digested is nothing but good sense and reason."

"Scandal is great entertainment because it allows people to feel contempt, a moral emotion that gives feeling of moral superiority while asking nothing in return."

"Now let me explain why this makes intuitive sense."

"Cruelty is like hope: it springs eternal."

"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."

"Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside."

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me."

"Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think that she's attractive to the opposite sex."

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder."

"He who is carried on another's back does not appreciate how far off the town is."

"I am not fond of speaking about politics because I don't have in my possession an army of 200,000 soldiers."