"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world."

"Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time."

"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."

"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night."

"They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded."

"He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them."

"How good bad music and bad reasons sound when one marches against an enemy!"

"He who esteems trifles for themselves is a trifler; he who esteems them for the conclusions to be drawn from them, or the advantage to which they can be put, is a philosopher."

"The world changes, and all that once was strong now proves unsure."

"The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank."

"Perpetual worry will get you to one place ahead of time - the cemetery."